If you’re going to argue with your significant other about whether you’re too drunk to drive, try to limit the amount of arson you plan to perpetrate.
Earlier this week in Canada, 49-year old Gordon Spicer was looking and sounding a little hammered. That’s when his significant other decided to step in and help him out… or so she thought. What ensued was a screaming match about how ol’ Gordy was just fine to drive. Which, in my experience is the first sign that you’re already half in the bag. The uproar escalated to full on Ali-Frazier level and Gordon, in his infinite wisdom, decided he was gonna make a point. What point, we’re not sure, but he was lit. And I do mean LIT.

The now-obviously drunk Mr. Spicer proceeded to set his home sweet home ablaze, presumably to distract his good-intentioned wife/girlfriend/FWB. As she desperately tried to extinguish the blaze, Gordo stumbled to the car, got in and drove off.

Thankfully, the local fire department showed up, put the flames out and promptly began an arson investigation with, of course, Gordon Spicer in the center. Our drunk pyro-Canadian was eventually tracked down by The Canadian Mounties, charged and jailed on arson and impaired driving.

Huh. Impaired driving. Well, whaddya know. Godron WAS drunk! Confirmed! That settles that… and truth be told, we’re not sure if he really won that argument or not.

Sounds like Gordon could use the help of Big Time Bail Bonds… cuz when you’re in jali, you need bail!