Dateline Canada, where 27-year-old Joanne Morin went into a liquor store last month, hoists a bottle of vodka high, and yells “I’m taking this!” And she was serious . . . because she walked out with it! Further evidence that Canadians are the most polite folks in the world, because what perpetrator announces their heist? Ok, well maybe a supervillain… but I digress.

Alerted to the impending evil deed, employees called the Dudley Do-Rights, who quickly tracked, and then, incarcerated Joanie. Now it’s at this point that, if Joanie was smart (which clearly she wasn’t), she would have contacted a bail bondsman like Big Time Bail Bonds, cuz when you’re in jail, you need bail.

Now, let’s fast forward to Joanie’s sentencing yesterday, where she was given six months probation and mandatory enrollment in a shoplifting treatment program. Once again, the most polite and friendly sentence she could have been given.  We’re also wondering where the line ‘liquor was involved’ plays in this story…